For some of us, our identity is so wrapped up in our work that we cause our self harm by this misunderstanding. I came across this excerpt from “The Sandler Rules” by David Mattson about this very topic that I found to be very helpful, and I hope you do, as well:
“When you fail to accomplish something, YOU are not a failure. You–a person with intrinsic worth –did not fail. Instead, it was your attempt-your action plan, strategy, or technique-that failed. There is a difference between the REAL you and the ROLE you.
The REAL you is defined by your self-identity…your sense of self-worth.
The ROLE you is defined by your performance in a role–brother, sister, spouse, parent, little league coach, or salesperson………
You must learn NOT to take role-failures personally. An unsuccessful attempt to obtain an appointment or close a sale is just that–an unsuccessful attempt. It has nothing to do with your personal worth. Your personal worth is still intact.”