Are you really comfortable sharing space with an “elephant in the room”?


I participate in a weekly support  group session. I am there to help others as they go through a rough time in their lives. One of the points that came up last night was that the only way we are going to truly find true freedom individually and hope for positive changes in an organization is to boldly acknowledge the “elephant in the room”.   elephant-room

Many times  we hold on to something that needs to be dealt with, but we just don’t have the courage to deal with it, so we push it to the side. But you know what happens to that issue–nothing.  It does not go away. If anything it might lead to further complications.

Take for instance a bruised relationship. Yeah, maybe it was mostly the other person’s fault, but we probably have some part in the problem as well.  By doing nothing, the problem still exists.  Most likely, our relationship with that person will continue to deteriorate.  How sad.   Someone needs to make the bold move of acknowledging the problem and restoring the friendship.

I can think of so many other areas in a person’s life where this same thing plays out.   I know of an individual that in all reality is an alcoholic. In fact, I recently asked him if he was.  Most people around him would probably say that about him, but this person continues to deny there is a problem.  He needs to be willing to trust the opinions of friends and acknowledge the problem.

I know of another person with some kind of unresolved anger issue that leads to this person having a negative attitude most of the time. It’s very uncomfortable to be around this person because there’s usually some kind of critical response that comes from them in a conversation.   This person needs to be willing to trust the opinions of friends (who have mentioned the problem) and deal with it (for their own sake).

I know of a company (actually two that come to mind) that has an employee that consistently is under-performing, yet continues to be on the payroll, year after year.  Nothing seems to change in their performance despite helps to increase their productivity.  Its time for someone to be bold and do the right thing and acknowledge the problem and deal with it.

I could go on and on with many examples of the need to be truth-tellers, to ourselves and to others. Unresolved issues won’t go away by themselves.  They need to be acknowledged lovingly and dealt with.   It is what it is, so put it out in the open. People already know it is going on, but the problem needs to be dealt with.

Part of the Evaluation process in the Life Management System I teach involves  dealing with unresolved issues in the past and present.  Be courageous (and wise) and deal with them.

Many of us will listen to the voices in our head telling us if that if we  confront a difficult situation, “the other person may say …”, or “they may get upset at me…”, or “I may not be liked after doing this”, or many other fear-leading, “what-if’s.

The truth is that the majority of those “what-if’s” will never materialize.

By quickly dealing with these “elephants” in the room, we are looking for solutions, tired of the status-quo. 

Do you have any of these unresolved issues in your life?   Are you a part of any leadership team that needs to face the brutal reality of a current, unfortunate situation because you know something has got to change?

Deal with it soon.

You will be glad that you are finally free to enjoy a room alone without an elephant in it   🙂


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