One of main themes that I stress to those I work with in my Life Coaching efforts is to “strive for excellence in every area of our responsibilities”.
A very effective way that we can get better in any area is to receive feedback from others on our performance. Although, it sounds easy, in reality, for most of us, having others point out things we can improve upon can be difficult.
Just the other day, I experienced this situation. I’ve just started to implement a new idea for my life coaching business and did a live run through with a small group of people.
The host and his spouse (and their son) gave me some specific (and very helpful) critiques on how they felt the night went and some suggestions on how I could make some future improvements.
Initially, I could feel my emotional resistance (its a pride thing) to being shown I didn’t do a perfect job. But later that evening, when I was at home reflecting on their comments, I couldn’t help but get excited about applying their suggestions and improving on my performance.
So, what was going on?
We have 2 parts of our brain that are responsible for our decision making.
One part of our brain is the amygdala. It is made for a quick response. It is geared to process things emotionally and stir us to take a “fight or flight” action. Think impulsive actions.
The other part of our brain in the frontal lobe helps us to think cool, logical decisions. It is not overwhelmed by emotions. As someone said, “it helps us thrive, rather than just survive.”
So, why get into this tangent on the “brain”? Its because we will bring incredible benefits to our life, like receiving feedback from others if we can understand how our brains are wired. If we can understand that it is normal to want to get act quickly, get defensive (and either fight or run away) from situations that come are way and if we can just relax and get away from our instinctive, quick response, then we can move into “frontal lobe” thinking. We can prepare ourselves to benefit from a broader perspective and respond in the wisest kind of way.